Mysterious House Fire In Pennsylvania

Hal Turner's Mother/Sister/Wife/Call Screener had her heavily insured home outside Scranton, PA burn last night in what the WN crowd is calling an act of arson by anonymous. Hal has so far not publicly stated that he believes anonymous did this but has skirted the issue in his comments. If Hal holds true to form we will see a new money raising campaign begin soon to cover the needs of his family as they recover from this tragedy. Hal will also stick his foot firmly in his mouth and blame anonymous for this , claiming he has documents to prove that we were all present and playing with matches in his former bedroom. This is a double tragedy as Hal's folks will need to move in with him at his Fortress of Ignorance in New Jersey and fight over the remote. Add in that and the fact that the loss of the highly profitable meth lab on the second floor and you can see why Hal is most anxious about his income. This is also a tragedy for the surrounding area as meth production will be unable to keep up with demand. Where does this leave Steve Holsten, penis inspector for the master race? He will be fondling young boys as usual, but will have to charge each child a fee to cover Hal's expensive taste in cigars and brandy.